Sunday, February 21, 2016

What other people think (of me), is none of my business!

About 20 years ago, I learned about this quote.

When I first heard it, it was attributed to A.L Williams. (Yes, the Prime America guy.)

And, every now and then, especially when I start feeling as if "others" around me (business and personal relationships) are invalidating me, I have to force myself to NOT reply or respond to anything they are saying.  I do my best to just let them vent and then, I try to ignore them as much as possible.

You see: when "others" are being critical (invalidating) of you, they are disrespecting you.  In my case, as a real estate broker for 25 years, I am the most knowledgeable about real estate within my family and small circle of friends.

But, since my sibling family members like to refer to me as being "Bossy," this form of criticism always comes across as disrespectful -- even though they think it is being helpful.  And, I believe the reason for their disrespect is that I do have a better working knowledge about real estate than they have.  However, I believe this makes them jealous.  And that jealousy is what leads them to being so disrespectful of me.

Fortunately, my 'clients' refer to me as "Knowledgeable,"  So, I will take this criticism gratefully.

For example: one of my younger brothers thought he should get into real estate to buy and rent out houses.  He was going to grow his real estate portfolio and become rich.

So, once he owned a few properties, loan rates went down, so he decided, back in 2005 or 2006, to refinance the three residential properties he owned.  Back then, I warned him to NOT refinance ALL of his properties at once with the same lender, because I knew his lender of choice would cross-collateralize his properties.

But, he said that wasn't going to happen, because he said the Loan Officer said that, that would NOT happen.

Then, last year, he tried to sell one of the houses.  Once in escrow, the lender send a payoff  amount for all three loans at the same time.  He decided to sue.  He lost his lawsuit.

So, now, I am NOT being boastful about this.  I am only emphasizing that I know more about real estate than a wanna be house owner landlord.

Am I sorry for his dilemma?  No.  I just wish he had listened to me (and I wish he had viewed my advice as being the truth based on my years of experience in real estate).  But, since to him, I was being "Bossy," he listen to "others" who were in fact, lying to him just so they could earn the loan origination fee.

Unfortunately, since he viewed me as being "Bossy," he is now in a situation where he has to sell all three houses at once to get out of the loan(s).

I can only be reminded what Mike Sitren told me years ago: Don't help family with real estate.  They will never appreciate your efforts.

So, if you are going to call me Bossy, because I suggest you do/do not do something in real estate, best of luck to you.  I don't need your invalidation and...

...what you think (of me) is none of my business.

Contacting David Howes is easy -- either by: davidATdavidhowesDOTnet OR call him at: 70 25 01 93 88 AND Follow David on Twitter: @DavidAHowes

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